Archive #2: Other Absurd Trade Rumors From Around the League

A couple of weeks ago, there was one of the silliest rumors in recent memory floating around that, for some reason, said we were going to trade Albert Pujols for Ryan Howard. Now, if you're reading this, that means that you're probably a Cardinals fan, and if you are able to read, that means that you are one of the few lucky Cards' fans whose brain didn't explode when hearing about this rumor.

Anyway, it got me thinking about what other ridiculous rumors may be lurking. So, after some investigation, I dug up a few, and decided to share them with all of you.

The Detroit Tigers offer Cecil Fielder to Milwaukee for Prince Fielder
Unbeknownst to everyone, Cecil Fielder has been playing in the minors since he retired, and can still hit the ball pretty well. This is ironic since Prince and Cecil are no longer on speaking terms. It's yet to be seen if the rumor adds to the turmoil.

The Yankees offer Alex Rodriguez to the Braves for Chipper Jones
In an effort to clear some contract money, the Yankees make the unwise move to try and acquire yet another player that's in his fifties.

The Cardinals offer the 'Ghost of Rick Ankiel' Past to the Kansas City Royals for Zach Greinke
This offer is just plain stupid. First of all, Rick Ankiel sucks. Second of all, it would have to mean that John Mozeliak actually tried to acquire a pitcher with talent, and everyone knows that's impossible.

The Washington Nationals offer Stephen Strasburg to the Brewers for Bob Uecker
The Nationals decide that the reason they don't have many fans isn't because they suck, but it's actually because they don't have a funny play by play guy. The Brewers turn down the deal under the sinking suspicion that the Nationals are going to trade Uecker to the Cleveland Indians for Rick Vaughn.

The Chicago Cubs offer Alfonso Soriano to the Chicago White Sox for Frank Thomas
The White Sox turn down the deal, because even though Thomas is retired, he's still a hell of a lot better than Soriano was last season.

The Seattle Mariners offer Ken Griffey, Jr. to the Seattle Mariners for Ken Griffey, Jr.
It makes about as much sense as Ryan Howard for Albert Pujols.